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Sunday, September 30, 2007


September 30, 2007

Despite not being a religious person (shrinking from dogma and creeds), and very spiritual in nature, I have long been an admirer of Mother Teresa and claimed her as one of my role models. I have felt an unseen connection with her--even felt a oneness with her from time to time. I have sensed her presence with me and seen her image on my mind screen. I found myself with tears of admiration often when reading Mother Teresa, Come Be My Light: The Private Writings of the Saint of Calcutta, edited with commentary by Brian Kolodiejchuk, one of her Missionaries of Charity (yes, they include men). This book, published this year by Doubleday, has stirred up a hornet's nest, so to speak, because almost no one alive in this world who admired and loved Mother Teresa had an inkling of her internal suffering and pain--until now. Mother Teresa used the name "Jesus" in her writings. I use the title "Christ" ("anointed") to indicate who/what I serve--a slightly different and more expanded focus. But then, Mother Teresa was religious. I'm not religious, but spiritual.

Mother Teresa was invited by Jesus as a young nun to "come be my light" in the slums of Calcutta, India and devoted the remainder of her life to establishing missions around the world for "the poorest of the poor," as she called them. In the beginning, she could never have dreamed how her outreach would grow to circumvent the globe--and had no desire to achieve such, for she was only focused on the poor of Calcutta.

Around the time Mother Teresa finally gained permission from Rome to do as Jesus had instructed her in conversations with him, she no longer felt His presence, which caused her much grief and pain, which she carefully hid from everyone but her closest superiors/friends. During the last few years of her life, she began to understand that it was for a higher purpose. From Chapter 10: "The reality of her relationship with Jesus was truly a paradox. He was living in and through her without her being able to savor the sweetness of His presence. At prayer she would return to Jesus and express her painful longing for him. But it was only when she was with the poor that she perceived His presence vividly. There she felt him to be so alive and so real." When others are receiving through my instrument is when I most feel the "Divine presence." There have been times over the years since my Love Work/ministry officially began (in 1990) that I felt I should cancel an appointment because of not feeling that presence, but I found that it would without fail descend and fill my being at the appropriate time. Just a reminder that I'm only the instrument. In the early years of my Love Work, I felt that presence almost constantly.

This book reveals that once Mother Teresa reminded one of her missionaries/sisters "Follow Jesus--not go ahead of him." So many times I have tried to lead instead of follow. Doesn't work. And several times I have mistakenly thought I was following Christ, going where Mission Control wanted me, but found I was wrong, that I had been deceived by the "adversaries." I have caused harm to my being and my Love Work by failure to take the time to discern and get clarity before acting. Suffice it to say, I'm no Mother Teresa--not by a long shot!

Multitudes of so-called Christian people focus on the person of Jesus Christ and ignore His instructions to care for the needy, as in Matthew 25 of The Holy Bible, which goes something like this, depending on the translation: "Come ye blessed of my Father and inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world, for I was hungered and ye gave me food. I was thirsty and ye gave me drink. I was a stranger and ye took me in, naked and ye clothed me. I was sick and ye visited me. I was in prison and ye came unto me. In as much as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." These are some of my favorite words of Jesus Christ, and words I strive to live by as much as I'm able to do so. Mother Teresa taught her Missionaries of Charity a five-finger exercise: "You-did-it-to-me."

When the sisters of the many governances (branches) Mother Teresa had established around the world expressed concern about her leaving this world, worrying that the work would suffer, etc., Mother Teresa told them she could be of far more assistance to them and the work when home than she had been in this world. I didn't know that until reading this book, but I was given an image of Mother Teresa busily at work "on the other side" soon after her departure.

As I finished reading the last word of the last chapter of this book, the word "absolution" came into my mind. I wanted to explore the word in its fullness and went to the dictionary. It means "freedom from sin." After reading so many of her words written to her closest confidants, revealed in this book, I have no doubt that Mother Teresa lived in a state of absolution after she said "yes" to the invitation of Jesus to "come be my light." Truly a saint transitioned from this world on September 5, 1997, ten years ago this month. Wow! What an awesome being!

Seeking to serve (locally and long distance), we are one known as Angel-Light. Our healing/teaching mission at this level of existence is supported by donations of persons who appreciate and value our service.

Angel-Light Love
Healing/Wellbeing Facilitator